it’s been a long time since I’ve been able to post like this so I hope everything’s good on your end. Last post, I mentioned a bit about depression. The simple reason behind that is because I have been rests. For the last two years I’ve been set to work on a Masters degree that, while enjoyable, was fairly destructive to my health. Throughout I learned a lot about the field of public relations and communication. Overall, it’s one of those things that I feel as though I’d be incomplete without but I guess the same can be said for any type of education.
But the constant grind mixed with the overwhelming amount of research and conception of new projects that I’ve had to go through in the interim had me at a mental loss. I tried doing everything that I would normally do to calm down and get my head under me but I just couldn’t do it. At first I thought the everything was beyond me. But, it will serve me to be a better person. The work has a way of molding it will help you become a better person.
I had several guiding forces in my life at the time the most potent of which is my father. For an old grease monkey, the old man know what he needed to give me to get me back out there and it turns out it was a good kick in the pants. He helped me to become better and more focused person. Then circumstances in life kinda called me to improve more. My girlfriend, known on this platform as sekaifan was and still is in need of medical insurance due to the fact the she is in need of medical care for a moderate disability. This brought me back to the state university it used to be my stomping ground.
So I spent the next two years researching communications in the field of disability. I ended up doing some work in criticism (ironic huh) regarding disability and the media. I even ended up writing a sixty-seven page thesis on the subject. Teachers all the while I felt like I was losing a part of myself. I throw myself more mourned my work and I started to collect bonds that I’d made over my life. You might think that the power of friendship would’ve help me out here in a way it did the all in all I found myself just going deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole of endless gray that is workaholism.
So I made a few new friends and brought back a couple of old ones from way back when. They helped me to figure out some things. Ironically, at this stage in my life they started inviting me over for the most wholesome of things. When we started having our weekly anime nights. We saw at least six of the twelve series in the time that we’ve done things and in that time we selected each one with us in mind. It was during a showing o fAnohana that I actually realized something. For the first time in a year and 1/2 I was actually enjoying watching a piece. Not only that I was actually emotionally invested again. Ironically, it seems that this lighthearted series was just what I needed to perk up my spirits and get through the hard moments in life at the time. That along with a trip to what I would like to call “my student psychiatrists” lifted me up to where I could have a much more positive attitude. This ended up getting me a job teaching public speaking and a few other minor classes, department.
Oddly enough, I found that I had a rather intense love of teaching. I love to watch students grow and understand the things that they didn’t. It led to a rather enjoyable class and one that I would still enjoy teaching to this day. In this moment everything started looking up I became better for.
The one thing I can say I really learned from the experience of falling down that rabbit hole and coming back again is you can’t give up halfway through. Here I sit typing away in a new post, a Phoenix risen from his own ashes. The way I see it we are all protagonists in our own stories and it’s up to us how that story continues. We see it all the time in our chosen medium, heroes fight against evil and this is no different. You have depression the fight is against yourself and it can hold no power over you unless you give it power. So after going through any type of depression or just generally a bad time in your life stand strong is your story is not over yet.So as cheesy as that sounds the best thing I can say for anyone going through that is rise and be your own hero